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“Ode to Co-dependency”, inspired by my last client who is on an amazing journey:

Co-dependents are just about dying for someone to be our safe person. A “port” as my client called it. Because we’ve been taking care of others for so fucking long, **we’re** wanting to be taken care of. Of course!

But we forget that we’re literally the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Although trauma is becoming more talked about in everyday circles, sometimes it is still thought of as something that only “really unfortunate” people experience. You know, those people. But the truth is we’ve all experienced it in varying degrees.

I love how Gabor Mate approaches trauma: it’s not the event, he explains, it’s how we responded to the event that makes something traumatic. In some ways it may be overly simplistic, but it follows my own experience and what I see play out with my clients time and time again.

We got in a car wreck last weekend while driving home from a family trip. It was a surprise, of course, as car wrecks are never planned. Thoughts of how it could have been avoided were interwoven with thoughts of gratitude in regard to how lucky we all were…all things considered.

As I’ve written about, my sweet cat Michelangelo died a couple weeks ago. I found myself deeply missing him this morning, yet resisting the missing. My thoughts were getting in the way of feeling, while i believed them.I spotted this, I went below thoughts and toward the experience of loss. Yes, towards it.