We got in a car wreck last weekend while driving home from a family trip. It was a surprise, of course, as car wrecks are never planned. Thoughts of how it could have been avoided were interwoven with thoughts of gratitude in regard to how lucky we all were…all things considered.
As I’ve written about, my sweet cat Michelangelo died a couple weeks ago. I found myself deeply missing him this morning, yet resisting the missing. My thoughts were getting in the way of feeling, while i believed them.I spotted this, I went below thoughts and toward the experience of loss. Yes, towards it.
Looking back, I recognise that I was anxious from a very young age, but the extent of the anxiety didn’t become apparent until I was in my late twenties and started having panic attacks. A close friend of mine had dropped dead in tragic circumstances a few days before they started, and very soon I found myself facing the suppressed horror and grief of a previous loss, the death of my best friend in an accident when we were eighteen.